i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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