he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
