My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize