just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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