You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
