I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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