Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My life is pants optional.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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