Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
