I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Screwed.edu
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
nutella sex= disaster
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize
