she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
