I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I got inside last night via doggy door
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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