Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
