Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
