i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
