she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is it because I queefed?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize