did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
