i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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