I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
