I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You dont lie about slip and slides
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
