The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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