yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
