shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
