this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
