you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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