I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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