So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
