I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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