she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
