how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize