Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize