white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
