I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
