but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
