you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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