Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
