Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize