Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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