That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize