no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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