she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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