4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
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We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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