ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
