Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
