I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize