I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize