honey bunches of taint.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
