i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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