So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
