is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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