I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
