I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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