it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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