don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My life is pants optional.
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