that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
