i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
