u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
