as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
